Whats the point in all this…

So i have not written a post in a while. Partially because of business and also because I catch myself failing to see the point in it. I wrestle with myself and resist the extrovert that i know still exists in me somewhere. I think, why put personal info and thoughts online for everyone to read. Why not instead write in a journal (which i still do too) where no one can comment and know what is really going on, where it is safe.

So i come to this. All that up above is my humanness and finite understanding. I really believe that mind spewing, as i like to call it, or just spilling thoughts is one of the purest pathways to the soul and the quickest way to understanding your own struggles.

So here i open up to the world because we can not live life on our own. We can try but one way or another it always seems to fail miserably. I already feel so lonely from day to day here that I probably shouldn’t bottle it up. I love my Husband and he amazes me every day just how he can love such a fallen and broken person like me, back. He must be given lots of grace. I admit I don’t make it easy all the time, but he still does it. Even though I am around him much of the days I am still very lonely and afraid I will never have the close relationships I crave. This just goes to show how invaluable relationships with girls are. Let it be known that marriage is not the solver of all things wrong with the world. It just makes you realize just how frail, selfish and sinful we really are; With lots of love and passion in between. 😉